We were together for six years, before He ended it. I couldn’t believe it and it honestly took a while before reality set in. We broke up a few times before, but this time felt different. Living in different states began taking a toll on the relationship which ultimately shut down our communication. I wanted to make things work but his mind was already made up and How could I blame him? I had become the girl, I said I never would become. Dependent, clingy and needy. My insecurities got the best of me and somehow everything would always turn into an argument. I was more focused with how many years I had invested rather than focusing on the actual relationship. I was young, naive and loved him so much, I neglected myself.
I had been forcing the wrong piece into the puzzle, when all I had to do was look over and find the piece that fits. The night that changed everything, happened with one phone call. He said something that instantly flipped a switch in my mind and I knew I had to move on. “You’re not the one for me.” Those words replayed in my head and as much as it hurt; I accepted it. Although, I loved him and wanted to make it work, I knew my worth and wasn’t going to chase anyone that didn’t want to be caught. It was over, officially. I was ready to move forward as a single woman. The only problem was I didn’t know who I was without him. He was my identity.
I spent the next six months on the path to self-discovery. I began reading self-help books, spending time with friends and focusing on school. I decided during these next couple of months that I would not date or get involved with anyone else. I changed my eating habits and got a membership at the gym. Although I spent many nights crying and reminiscing of our relationship, I knew that I needed to let go of the past and focus on the future. It wasn’t easy, but it was very much needed.
Little did I know, this was all apart of God’s plan. I had spent my time, energy and attention chasing a man, rather than chasing God. Since, I no longer had someone else to worry about, finding happiness and wholeness was my priority. The more I attended bible study, the more I became curious. I began seeking the Lord with all my heart, mind and soul. All I had was a mustard seed of faith which eventually blossomed into a beautiful flower. I found my identity within Christ. I had been attending bible study faithfully, every Wednesday and made the decision to get baptized. The final day of my six month fast, changed my life forever, I met my future husband.
When we go through a difficult breakup, it may feel like the end of the world. But, everything happens for a reason. God used this moment in my life, so that our relationship could grow. God wanted me to focus on Him so he removed the biggest distraction that was in my life, my relationship. The truth is, the only man that could complete me was Jesus.
If you are going through a similar situation, trust that God has a plan for you. The person you are with, may not be the person for you, or maybe this is not the season for you two. Either way, God has created someone specifically for you, and in order for you to met that person you must trust in Him and His plan for your life. Human love does not compare to the power and glory of Heavenly love. Don’t settle for less!
Losing what I thought was real love, lead me to finding God’s love.